Francis Ngannou almost didn’t come back to fighting.

This past weekend, Ngannou made his long-awaited return to MMA, fighting Renan Ferreira in the main event of PFL Superfights: Battle of the Giants. But Ngannou’s return was far from a certainty. Earlier this year “The Predator” suffered a terrible tragedy when his 15-month-old son Kobe died due to a medical issue, and speaking with TMZ Sports, the lineal heavyweight champion admits after it happened, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever fight again.

“Yes, there was a point that I didn’t know anything,” Ngannou said when asked if he thought he might never fight again after his son’s passing. “Everything seemed so fragile. You didn’t know if maybe if it would not happen to you to, if it’s not some sort of genetic pandemic, genetic disease, I don’t know, a curse. If it was just bad luck that was going to keep happening. A lot of stuff happens in your head that you don’t usually think about, or you never think about.”

Ultimately, Ngannou did decide to fight on and returned in good form, finishing Ferreira with strikes in the first round. But though he made the performance look easy, Ngannou says the preparation was anything but.

“By far. It was by far the toughest [training camp of my life],” Ngannou said. “When I thought about retiring, it wasn’t an option, because retiring ... was to put the responsibility on my son again, which is not his responsibility. Then I said maybe I should wait for a little while before going back to fighting but I didn’t know when exactly. I didn’t know when there would be a time that it’s going to go away, it’s going to be OK. It’s just one of those things you just realize at the beginning you better learn how to roll with it because it will always be there. ...

“It was a way for me not only to have something to focus on but maybe do something to honor him, seeing as I didn’t have a chance to fight for him.”

The win was Ngannou’s first fight in the PFL, after taking the previous year and a half to pursue his interests in boxing. But given everything that’s happened to him this year, Ngannou doesn’t have any concrete plans about what comes next, be it boxing or MMA.

“I haven’t really thought about what’s next,” Ngannou said. “I have no idea. Not only will I take some time to rest, because I had a feeling that I took this fight too early. There were too many emotions, I was in a different space. ...

“I’ll take some time, see what’s out there, what is offering itself. Then I will consider something if there is something good.”