Anthony Smith wasn’t himself at UFC 310.

For the first time since suffering a loss to Dominick Reyes this past Saturday night, the one-time title challenger addressed his performance, which came weeks after he lost close friend, coach, and training partner Scott Morton, who died after suffering a heart attack at just 47 years old. Besieged by grief in the days leading up to the fight, Smith acknowledged that he knew he wasn’t in a good head space to compete before he ever set foot in the octagon.

“I handle things really well,” Smith said during his Sirius XM radio show. “I’m a f*cking gangster and I just power through it but this one is tough. I’ve never struggled like this before.

“When I got to the fight, I knew right away it was f*cked. I knew right away. As soon as I got to the arena.”

Smith called Morton “a safety blanket,” someone he could always count on to be there for him during the best and worst moments throughout his career. Smith revealed that in arguably his toughest fights, he would always look over to his corner and find Morton there staring back to give him calm and grace under fire.

That wasn’t present when he fought Reyes at UFC 310 and Smith felt the difference.

Inside the octagon, Smith admits that he really got caught up in the moment and ultimately made mistakes that cost him in the fight against Reyes. Skill for skill, Smith still doesn’t believe that Reyes was necessarily the better fighter, but his performance that night also left the 36-year-old veteran questioning where he was at in his career.

“I got impatient,” Smith said. “I just wanted something to f*cking happen. I just forced it. I just got impatient. Nothing was happening. He wasn’t engaging. I saw everything.

“That was the worst part, too, I was in there and I was like godd*mn, you’re not that good. And then it hit me like f*ck, maybe I’m not either. Maybe I’m not either anymore.”

Following the emotional loss, Smith said his appearance at UFC 310 is “probably” the final fight of his career but he wasn’t going to announce his retirement without putting more thought into it.

Perhaps the toughest part about the loss was Smith recognizing exactly what Reyes was doing when they were trading shots early in the fight but his reaction didn’t lead to a positive result.

“The left hand wasn’t nearly as fast as I expected it to be,” Smith said. “I think I overpredicted how good he was going to be on his feet. He landed a shot here or there and then at some point where I was like f*cking hit me or something. I need to f*cking feel something. Give me something here.”

In the end, Smith found himself on the ground eating a barrage of punches from Reyes with the referee finally stepping in to stop the fight late in the second round. Smith didn’t object but he was understandably dejected by his performance.

Given everything he had gone through, Smith probably shouldn’t have been there but then again, he says fighting at least finally made him feel something other than the tremendous loss that still weighs heavy on his heart.

“Theo Von, who everyone knows obviously, had this thing that he said one time,” Smith explained. “He said at least if I damage myself, then I’m the one doing it and not letting the world do it. That’s kind of how I felt. I needed to feel something other than what I’ve been feeling.”

As far as potentially competing again, Smith says there is a chance he returns for another fight but only under the right conditions.

“There’s a circumstance that probably exists where I would do one more,” Smith said. “I think that’s probably the answer. It would have to be the perfect scenario, timing, opponent and situation.

“I hadn’t even thought about [retirement] before this fight. But having the opportunity to have all the people that supported me, give them the opportunity to come one last time and experience fight week knowing it’s the last time. Being able to tell everyone in that process what they meant to me over all these years. Like one final flight. Win, lose or draw, who gives a f*ck but one final sendoff would be cool I think.”